Day Break!

Hi there, guess who's back!!!!!!!! me!!!!

OK, so I've been away for a while. didn't feel like talking (writing). Been going through what i would call the holy grail of bad days. I'm still there but I've decided i wont allow those things to keep me away from you guys ( yeah i know, i love me too). you're probably wondering what happened, lets just say somebody took something that wasn't theirs to take. people are wondering why I'm still so composed and seemingly unmoved, I'm not sure why. I'm probably still in shock. maybe one day I'll really understand what happened and then I'll probably have a nervous breakdown but until then, I'll be right here with you.

My one cent to anyone who's been burned down is to get up and keep moving. it will be difficult but you cant afford to let the offender win. take control!

OK, I've been to the gym everyday since the last time we talked except for Saturday, Sunday and Monday ( ok, so i've been to the gym only thrice since we talked, bite me!). i can swear that my stamina has increased 100%. i can now go on the machines for above 45minutes compared to the first day when i thought i was going to die after the first 5minutes. Been doing the strength training and now i'm a familiar face at the gym. It makes me feel really good. As for the food business, i think I'm slacking off a bit. Its so hard to monitor your food especially when you have to be in school all day. continuously been tempted by the disgustingly unhealthy foods there. i'll try harder to get back on track with the food thing.


Relationship/boyfriend update: we sorted everything out. He's been the best thing to ever happen to me and he just sent me a message to update you guys. he's really sensitive! so he wants me to tell you guys that he's still here and even more in love with me ( awwwwww, you see why i love him?)! He's one of those few people left in the world that makes me think that there's still some good left in this dark. creepy place.

i'll be back with more info later. gotta go to the gym. i'm even impressing myself ( yeah, yeah, roll your eyes all you want!).

Not Today, Not Now!

Hi guys, just got back from the gym (4th Feb) . had a great workout. my muscles are sore and I'm still clueless on what to eat to make all my hard work worthwhile. i think I've lost a bit of weight because, i measured my waist today (just before i ate an entire bowl of witabix) and it was 29cm, so that's 1cm shy from the original size. Right now, with my tummy full of witabix, its currently at 30cm. I'm hoping its just d bloated tummy talking.

So its the 5th today and i feel ill. I'm still bloated and too sore to even move. No exercise for me today. Everything hurts! even my ass bones/muscles. I had a little bit of rice earlier on for lunch and i suspect its to blame for my tummy issues. I'll just wait till tomorrow and see how this goes. moving on from all weight loss related matters.


Today hasn't been the best day. feeling a bit under the weather. Cant go to sleep and just had a fight with one of the most important people in my life ( the boyfriend). so i guess, its pretty safe to say, there's a big chance that this relationship is over! i suck at being mushy so this is pretty hard for me to write. this is one example of those relationships where love is not enough.

i appear to too many people as this kick-ass chick, who doesn't really care or need anyone but herself and its been a major problem in this relationship because, it gives people certain ideas that i don't love them as much as they love me. Which is so untrue and it hurts like hell. many times, I've tried my hardest to show them the best way i can and other times I've even gone beyond my best. Right now, to this person, its my fault that this relationship is probably over. i guess I'm just a hard person to love. oh well, bad things happen to bad people sometimes (like my friend used to say)!

You know what makes this horrible. it feels like deja vu. Been here before. funny enough, the last time i was here was just around this time of the year. Days to valentine! I hate valentine's day.
i guess some of us will just have to learn to live with misfortunes like this.

OK! so, today's post doesn't have the usual cheerful note like days before. hopefully tomorrow will be different. stay tuned.

Blogging etiquettes!!!!!!

If its personal, tell the boyfriend or girlfriend about it ( or they call you terrible or something worse, i'll keep you posted!).

if its not.......who cares?

Don't tell your friends about it if you plan on saying the truth! u might end up having none!

if you don't have friends,.....who cares?

Do not use your real name or theirs! just in case Google decides to index your site ( after you've done everything they've asked you to and had to wait for another 3 months) and they mistakenly see your blog ( thats if you're still planing on being honest)!

if you're not..........who cares?

Finally, if they still find out....that would be a great time to just LIE!!!!!!!!

A Million Lives!

Do you ever get the feeling that one life is not enough for you to achieve all the things that you want to? Like you could do anything you wanted to do, like be a doctor, an artist or a stock broker but you don't feel you can achieve all of them within the time constraints we humans have?

You're not alone. its even worse when you have the natural talents for those things. personally, i can sing ( I'm pretty good at it), dance, act, do maths, design clothes, design machine parts, stand the sight of blood and write. I changed my major three times before finally sticking with Mechatronics engineering. I started with medicine, then moved on to microbiology and then electrical engineering. I belong to a performing art group called Eckklesia.

at one point i got so depressed because i could'nt figure out what it was i really wanted to do with my life. Finally, i decided to pick one that involved more than one of my interests. so i chose mechatronics. i still write when i have the time. Right now, i'm working on my first fantasy novel. I sing and dance with ecklessia and at church.

Sometimes people ask me if i have any regrets on my career choice. My answer is yes! The honest truth is, i would probably always feel regret even if i chose some other major. I would always wish i could do something else. I would love to live 300 years, then i could be a doctor for the first 50, and a fashion designer for the next 50 and so forth.

My advice to anyone going through this same phase is to just do as much as you can handle to make life more bearable. Do whatever makes you happier. Do it all if you can. Find a way to incoperate most of your hubbies into a single activity but never try to do too much. You'll end up washed up and frustrated.

promised updates!

OK, so i finally got the balls to confront my troubled friendship ( no thanks to you!). apparently, i've not been the best friend in the world either. i have issues with respecting people's personal spaces. i'm grateful that i know that about myself now and i'm going to put in a whole lot of effort to change that. i and the troubled friend are now back to working on our friendship. That frienship was worth saving afterall.
Im honestly impressed with how far i've come after many disastrious friendships. i've learnt alot and i'm still learning more. i guess we're all trying to be the best version of ourselves that we possible can be.

Back to less mushy stories;

Who ever said getting fit is fun and easy should be sent to the war in Afghanistan. my body hurts like hell. i cant even bear to stand for more than 2 minutes at a time. i miss just lying down on my bed and surfing the internet. i miss my inactive, sad and boring life! OK that's not totally true.

So i went running ( with the speed i was going, it felt more like walking) yesterday. everyday i dont give myself the perfect reason not exercise is a blessing to me. well, it was tiring as usual, but i had a bit of fun because i had on my new gym clothes and good music playing through my earphones. i'm still not sure about the size of that lake but i'm sure its over 600meters long and i went round 5times ( impressive for a lazy couch potato like me!).

I've still not gotten around to doing the strenght trainings. i dont know why it just seems so hard.
Today, i'm doing a bit of pilates and some heavy stuff called boot camp . i got both dvds from Denise Austin. hopefully, i dont pass out. i tried the "boot camp" a while ago, boy was that hard!

Thats the update for the friendship and wieghtloss struggles! i'll be back with new jists for you after i regain conciousness ( i know for sure i'm going to pass out trying to finish that "boot camp" dvd). wish me luck!

1 DAY LATER

i had d hardest work out session yesterday. i ran for over 2 kilometers and boy was dat hard! anyways, i felt so good afterwards and my feet hurt like hell ( bad shoes). i got home and planned to shower and fall asleep as soon as possible. yeah right! i stayed up till 6am the next morning ( still working on the sleeping thing). OK, so I'm trying to get the healthy meals sorted out. my diet should include more of the lean proteins and less of the carbs and lots and lots of water.

so I'm officially in day three ( feels more like ten) of my new lifestyle and its going well. i skipped breakfast today ( bad Wendy!) and had a late lunch . there's so much i have to change , the eating and sleeping habits! mostly have to do with time management. I'm hoping i don't slack off this regimes. so far, my energy levels are higher, i don't need to sleep for more than 6 hours to feel energized. i feel lighter and soon I'll look thinner ( yay!! cant wait).
today, i have strength training! calves and thighs. finger crossed, i don't pass out.

No news on the troubled friendship.

BLOGGING....NOT AS EASY AS I THOUGHT.

From the dates of my previous posts, it very obvious that I'm new to this blogging lifestyle and I'm loving it. Its the perfect way to have my dream conversation...that is, no interruptions. anyways, I've been trying to figure out how to get this site indexed by Google ( I'm so useless at stuffs like that). so I've been round the web looking for all the help i can get. so far, I've been told that i needed to get more back links, submit my URL to blog directories, pray for God to help me and many more ideas.

so far, I've tried the Google meta tag, submission of url's to directories and Google verifications. so I'm going to try the back link idea. i visited this site linkbacklink and the owner is being kind enough to give free backlinks and the traffic there is not bad atall. so fingers and toes crossed, i'm hoping this works. wish me luck!

delorie

weightloss struggles!

weight loss is one of those rare feats that proof hard to accomplish. I've been trying to lose weight since i hit 18. That's one of the few things I've managed to not achieve in 4 long years. the challenge here is not in finding the right weight loss program, the challenge is in sticking to it. I know exercise is the ultimate cure when accompanied with the right diet...i could write 10 books on all the methods one could use to lose weight. But obviously, having all that knowledge has been of no use to me. let me give you an idea of what my normal day is.

i wake up at about 10am ( i cant seem to sleep early, which might be one of the reasons I'm still overweight), lazy around the house or just lay in bed reading a book. i go to the uni when i want. not the most serious student in the world ( which is especially bad as I'm studying one of the hardest courses, mechatronics engineering, yeah i know, I'm surprised too). anyways, i manage to drag myself out of bed and go downstairs to get breakfast at about 12pm. go back to bed and stay there surfing the internet. after that i just eat apples all day or peanut butter sandwich ( based on availability) and then have dinner late at about 12am.. so in general, i'm living a very unhealthy life style. I'm the laziest person i know .

so now i've decided that its time i get a life. so I've started exercising ( 2days already). on the first day i took a 1.5 hour walk and the second day (today), i did a little bit of strength training. for a moment i thought i was going to pass out from exhaustion. i still cant figure out the diet thing yet. i know i need more lean protein as my basic meal involves noodles and eggs. I'm not a big eater but i know for sure that my inconsistent eating habits put my body in starvation mode.

so i'm hoping to clean up my act and with a bit of encouragement and less mockery from the people around me, I'll be on my way to a leaner, sexier me.

finally, i need to get rid of stress in my life with from my failed relationships and other numerous emotional craps. so wish me luck! I'll keep you posted on my progress and maybe later, i'll be qualified enough to give others advice. Stay with me people!!!!!!

OK, so now i weigh about 78kg and I'm trying to down-size to 64.9Kg ( my healthy weight as said by a doctor based on my height and age)...so if my maths is by anyway correct, that's about 15kg less of what i weigh now. i have so much work to do. so much to sacrifice and I'm not exactly sure if I'm willing to let my peanut butter sandwich and pizza go or my midnight snacking!! but i have to get this right. keep your fingers crossed! all words of encouragement are most welcome!

see ya in a bit!

FRIENDSHIPS AND KAY !^!

Finding the right friends and keeping them can be so difficult. Everyone is unique and so different. sometimes we're really lucky enough to find those ones who we have a little bit in common with. i have lost many friends and I've gained double of that same amount. even the silliest of things can ruin friendships. things as stupid as over-used perfumes! i guess that's what distinguishes great friendships from people passing through. the first friend i ever lost was called Tamia! she's the skinniest person i've ever know and funny enough, she looks just like me and acts a lot lie me an I'm sure thats why we didn't get along. i think it mostly my fault as i have a way of being a bit too controlling sometimes. after her i tried to change that part of me but i failed because that was part of the reason the rest of my friendships went to the dust. OK, I'm not the nicest person alive but i do try. i give alms and i help people when i can but when things don't go my way i turn into this horrible monster suffering from PMS! but i credit myself on trying to work things out ( even though it never worked cos i managed to get controlling again while trying to sort our problems, Damn!) . anyways, i lost another great friend once ( not so great, really). i think that has got to be the meanest I've ever been. OK, I'll let you be the judge of that. i met this girls online and we hooked up. surprisingly I'd met one on a flight before ( the one i hurt, her name's Lele). well, they took me in and from the first day i could see that Lele was the "queen bee". it didn't really sit well with me as i was used to being the queen bee and i hated the way the other girls acted towards her( yeah, i know, elementary school). it seemed like they had no independent thoughts of their own and all the wanted to do was please her. somehow they realized i was interesting and they all wanted to be real close to me, even Lele. so i and lele started hanging out a lot and that kinda made the other girls feel left out. so Lele had to go home for the holiday ( we are in a university far from home) and she kinda left her stuffs with me (clothes and all). well, one of the other girls had this tendency to prefer other people's stuffs to hers, so liked to borrow Lele's clothes and accessories and then take pictures with them. by the time lele got back to town she did'nt like it atall as most of her clothes were on facebook and i was the new "queen bee". anyhow, they had this big quarrel and i was stuck in the middle. ended up being the one who got labeled the devil ( talk about the movie "mean girl's", there couldn't be two queens to one throne). playing the " they said, you said" game. everyone ended up getting hurt! i tried a million times to talk to Lele, but she didn't want anything to do with me. i tried everything, emails, phone calls...everything. I'm just glad i tried. i sleep well knowing that. even if we were all to blame. Now I'm stuck in this friendship with this stuck up girl that has been dragging for so long. so I'm still deciding if its worth saving ( got a great amount of advice from that site) . I'll let you guys know how it goes. LESSON : Life is like a tree. Friends are either roots or leaves or branches. the leaves are those people just passing through. with the slightest wind, they're out of your life but you'll survive. some are branches.....it'll talk a whole lot more for those to go and yes, they'll be missed but you'll survive. finally, the roots! those are the friends you don't want to loose. it'll take the world to chase them away and even after that, they'll stay. but if you think for a moment you're loosing any of those.. don't hesitate to do everything humanly possible to make them stay.